13 Aug Resting on his Promises
Today I went to go see a war movie in the middle of the afternoon. So very unlike me and yet it was so nice. I almost felt guilty about it. So much so that I put off going for several days. It was so lovely to ease into a quiet theatre with no one on either side of me and settle down into a luxurious seat and lose myself in the screen. I love historical drama’s and the cinematography was breathtaking and very engaging for the whole of two hours. I work very hard most days and I can be very unforgiving with my own time. I feel as if I constantly should be working on something, preparing for something or anticipating the need for something upcoming. I must be at my desk even when I know I am just going through the motions. I feel justified when it reaches dusk to then and only then close my doors and enter my home life for the evening. I have an A type personality and we just find it hard to acknowledge our own humanity at times.
But at this season in my life, I am learning what it means to enter into his rest. Which means that you don’t engage in busyness just to be busy, you do what you can and you stand on what he has told you and you wait. I am giving myself permission to breathe again and find out what makes me happy and not just what keeps all the balls in the air.
I used to wear myself out mentally like a whirling dervish constantly moving from one prospective project to another somehow believing that my own momentum would start a revolution in my life. I have learned that the hardest thing to do ultimately makes the best sense. Just rest in him and patiently wait upon his faithfulness. I have prayed and shared the desires of my heart. I have grabbed hold to the promises that he gave and I have hidden in my heart the confessions of his faithfulness. So, with that in mind – I went to the movies. Just as if I had nothing to worry about because I didn’t. It was like I made a stand and proved it to myself by purchasing a matinee seat. People who go to the movies in the middle of the day haven’t a care in the world. So, while I’m not sure it will become a lasting habit it is great as an occasional treat. To feel justified and covered enough to say to yourself, this afternoon has been given back to you. Enjoy it because it’s his gift to bear our burdens. If you are feeling a bit of angst in your life. Or if there are just some unresolved issues that you have not seen his response too as of yet relax, he hears you and he is faithful. Rest and assurance along with a little bit of popcorn can really be satisfying. I highly recommend you try it some time.